Parenting without interference
As moms, we understand that our words and actions profoundly shape our children's lives. However, we also realize that we, too, are influenced by many external factors. This awareness prompts a critical question: How can we become more mindful of our behaviors and correct them to guide our children toward a better path?
My primary goal as a parent has always been to raise a loving, loved, and honest human being, capable of believing in themselves and embracing kindness while living a life full of creativity and awareness. As I strive to mold myself into the best parent I can be, I sometimes find myself questioning my own parenting techniques. It's easy to be self-critical, but the key is to listen to our inner voice and focus on what we can improve.
In my journey of self-discovery and positive parenting, I came across a powerful thought from Marcus Aurelius: "If we love ourselves among others, why do we place more weight on their opinions than on our own self-estimation?" This made me reflect deeply. How can we teach our children to love themselves if we constantly impose our opinions on them?
We often believe we are teaching our children something valuable, but sometimes we might be overextending our opinions. I challenge you to listen to your parenting messages today, and listen from your child's perspective, in other words out yourself in your child shoes for a day and evaluate how you feel about it. Does your comment add to your child's knowledge or skill development? Does it add value to their life?
Positive thoughts are always welcome, but opinions such as, "Why did you choose red instead of blue for your painting? Red is prettier," can undermine a child's confidence. I caught myself in this scenario recently when my mother made a similar comment to my son. I quickly intervened, assuring him that it was okay to choose the color he liked best. This made me realize that I, too, might unknowingly impose my opinions on my child.
Therefore, it's crucial that we refrain from unnecessarily affecting our children's confidence. As well as choosing our battles , permissive parenting practices are not ok but once every other day we can bypass a request by understanding they may forget about it in a minute or two, for example : tonight my son wanted to drink Sprite soda before bed, if you are like me you will say “no way” and that is what I did , but for a split second he started crying I understood he was just tired so I said yes, and the moment he got to bed I managed to take the bottle away telling him to climb to get ready for night time and he totally forgot about it and did not even drink the soda. So short story I choose not to make him cry over something so simple, and at this moment I had a realization about the topic of this blog and how I can be more aware of the fact that we, as parents are the adults and should be able to manage situations with smart leadership , with empathy and respect above all. We should let them make their own choices and decisions, fostering their independence and self-esteem. As we embrace positive parenting, let's stay open-minded and aware of our inner parental voice, striving to guide our children with love and respect.
Recommended Books and Educational Materials:
1. The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
- This book provides strategies to nurture your child's developing mind and foster healthy emotional and intellectual growth.
2. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
- A classic guide that offers practical advice on effective communication with children, helping to build a strong parent-child relationship.
3. Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelsen
- This book focuses on kind and firm parenting methods that teach important social and life skills.
4. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" by John Gottma
- This guide emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in children's development and offers techniques to help parents nurture this essential skill.
By incorporating the wisdom from these resources, we can continue to grow as parents and create a nurturing environment where our children can thrive. Let's embrace the journey of positive parenting together and cherish the special moments we share with our little ones.
